1) I want to rent hotel rooms with you and spend more than half our time being outside.
2) I want to get lost while we’re driving because I can’t read maps and you are too stubborn to ask for directions.
3) I want to eat drive-thru food with you on the floor of our first apartment.
4) I want to get drunk in public and have you take me home while I hit on you.
5) I want to go on long adventures with you.
6) I want to go to the movies and make out with you in the back like a couple of over excited teenagers.
7) I want to lay with you under the stars and talk about the future like I’ve got it all planned.
8) I want to break in your arms once in a while because I don’t have it all planned.
9) I want to bore with you with my favorite shows and movies even though you insist it is okay.
10) I want to play video games with you and sulk when I lose.
11) I want to paint you in my poems.
12) I want to dance with you.
13) I want to spend the rest of my life with you, knowing there’s no place else I’d rather be.”
how do you make someone holy
you beat the hell out of them
my 96 year old catholic grandma told me this joke
This is by far my favorite tweet ever.
found this gem in the 1996 Cornell Women’s Handbook. it’s what to say when a guy tries to get out of using a condom
sO my friend’s dog died and she lives in new york city and so she had to take it to the vet by the subway and she put the dead dog in the suitcase on the subway and it was a pretty big dog and some dude saw that she was struggling with the suitcase so he asked if she needed help with it and he said do you mind me asking what’s in it and she didnt want to say a dead dog so shE SAID IT WAS A BUNCH OF LAPTOPS SO HE TOOK THE SUITCASE AND RAN AND I JUST
I refuse to censor myself just to shelter your ignorance and sensitivity.
I CAN SHOW U THE WORLD
HAVE YOU SEEN MY SON?